He Walks The Line

By Tess Doberville

“So why’re you here?” Asked the room-mate. “I’d rather not say,” said the once family man. “But, if you really want to know, I got a loud mouth family member who lives a posh life, and decided to put my foot where his mouth was.” He said. “You oughta tell me,” said the gorgeous and highly masculine, male Latino room-mate. “Was it one of your bastard youngins?” “Well, as long as they never dig deep enough for the dates on those state records, or for those state records for that matter,” said the man, “No one will ever know we found him being raised by a group of Africans on the southern end of that great country.” Added the extremely handsome, older blond inmate. “So, why did you take him? I mean, why didn’t you just leave him behind as he has done so many innocent others?” “How’d you know that?” Quizzed the man. “You some kind of prophet or something?” “Eh, I dabbled a little in the church movement way back when,” he said. “Mother, you know, faithful Catholic woman. Been baptized in the church in South America, Bagoda, Columbia before it got as bad as it is now.” Said the Latino man, whose mother just happened to name him Fabio. Perhaps on a whim. Perhaps because his father was a physically beautiful man like himself. But unlike him, his father only liked women. A lot of women. And unfortunately, not his mother. Or at least not enough to stay by her side forever, let alone support her and Fabio with the love and the financial means to feel like a normal family. So, out of pain, a pain so psychologically deep his words could not explain, Fabio had branched out in life. That is the story of how he got here.

“So, this is the scoop,” said the older blond man, by now a fixture on the room. His days had turned to years, and as his laxadazial relative had wasted all of his days on television, sweet ice cream sundaes and dog breeding, he spent his days here trying to do what he used to do on the outside on the inside. “You got a generator?” Asked Fabio. “Naw, I aint got no generator. And you?” Asked the blond man who named Johnnie at birth had a sudden and strange and constant craving for a slim jim and a Pepsi. And an ice-cream cone. Things nobody got much of here, let alone much of any real friendship or understanding.

“Yeah, well there’s this guy I saw on t.v. once, and then I went to the Ozarks to whip around and have a good time on a boat with my lover, someone who has a lot of money, a lover who said he can pay my way in life. And I had to take it, or else it was between that or homelessness. You know anything about that, uh?” “Johnnie. Johnnie is the name,” said the handsome older man. “But I aint into none o’that.” “I understand, I understand,” said Fabio. “I wasn’t ever into none of that either, but I felt like after I spun out of control for all those years, after my mother passed on. She died from alcoholism. After my papa’ left my mother, she drank herself to death. Yeah, every time she wake up in the morning and see the love of her life gone from the scene, and off with some other woman, life is now meaningless for her, see?” “Yeah, well other people’s lives aint nuthin to play around with,” Johnnie at least admitted that. “What you do for a livin’?” Asked Fabio. “I don’t know if you want to know,” said Johnnie. “Well, it can’t be any more bad than what I do,” said Fabio. “You could have that right,” finally admitted Johnnie, again,telling two truths in a row. He almost felt he had outdone himself this time. “So, you been here long enough?” Asked Fabio, now just really killing time, as the conversation seemed at a lull. Johnnie now felt so convicted of guilt, he could no longer hold back. “Son, what’s your business with me,” he finally said. “Well, I aint got no business with you,” he said. “I’m just your new room-mate. Just trying to make some friendly conversation here.”

Finally though, Fabio broke down and began to sob in his hands. “Oh God, don’t do that kind of stuff,” said Johnnie. After all, the dinner hour was near, and he knew that tonight was man dinner night. Mashed potatoes, gravy, and Salisbury steaks and peas with what he called ‘imitation apple pie and ice cream slices.’ More anxious to get to dinner than to do this, Johnnie sighed real loud. Fabio stopped crying, and as the two now sat on Johnnie’s bottom bunk facing each other said to Johnnie, “You tell me the truth. Why you in here?” Said Fabio. “What, because of some clean-cut school teacher or something?” “Son, I’m gonna ask you again, and then I don’t want no trouble. How’d you know that? You some kinda prophet or something.” “God no,” said Fabio, I don’t even know God. My mom is the one who knew that, and she’s dead now.” “But son, I’ve had enough of this nonsense. If you aint’ got nothing else to talk about, I’m headed for dinner.” “Wait!” Said Fabio, in a way so desperate and sudden, it apprehended the man. “If I told you that if you put your good and anointed arms around me like a papa and told me you loved me like that, and prayed with me, that I think I could love a woman again, what would you say? Would you refuse to touch me? Would you snarl your face? Would you say nasty things to my face? Would you act like I am an untouchable piece of crap? Or would you act like I am a human being with flesh and blood and a beating heart just like yours who wants the same things out of life that you do? A home. A wife. Security. Happiness. Joy. Look I don’t really know this Jesus whose picture you got plastered on the concrete wall.” He gestured toward the picture of the savior positioned over the one lonely sink in the cell. “Or who that man is you got hiding in that large bible on the desk. But if he’s got something I need and you know how to share it, then by all means, despite your cold do not touch me family member who put you here, if you will wrap you arms around me and tell me you love me like a brother or a dad, I will be glad to receive your Jesus. And the anointing I feel coming out of you, it smells so nice and clean and good. I want some of that too.” Said Fabio adamantly.

Matthew 25:31-45 For I was an hungred, and yee gaue me meate: I was thirstie, and ye gaue me drinke: I was a stranger, and ye tooke me in: 36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sicke, and yee visited me: I was in prison, and ye came vnto me. 37 Then shal the righteous answere him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fedde thee? or thirstie, and gaue thee drinke? 38 When saw wee thee a stranger, and tooke thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? 39 Or when saw we thee sicke, or in prison, and came vnto thee? 40 And the King shall answere, and say vnto them, Uerely I say vnto you, in as much as ye haue done it vnto one of the least of these my brethren, ye haue done it vnto me. 41 Then shall he say also vnto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into euerlasting fire, prepared for the deuill and his angels.

Johnnie, in all of his glorious years as a right handsome as well as a godly and obedient blond man knew that this was good and right to do so. He did not think for a moment what the other men might think. After all, the man did not mean it that way. I mean, he thought to himself, what am I going to do. Harm him in some way for asking for the love of God. Wouldn’t that be sinful, or rebellious to his pastoral calling? Even somehow godless? Dispelling of the ten-foot ‘don’t touch me rule’ for just one moment out of his whole guarded life, he did hear the voice of God say, “It’s okay, Johnnie. Do it.” Just this once, he thought, because even he knew that for those times you really did and were, and really did take the time to get all prayed up, you knew if you should do something or not. And you knew those times when you blew it, and did not show love or grace and should’ve and were in the flesh and messed it all up. But because he had spent time with the Lord just this morning before the new man, Fabio came, even he knew that this was just not one of those times. “Son,” said Johnnie, reaching out his arms. “Come home to papa.” And with tears in his eyes, Fabio wrapped his arms around Johnnie, and accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into his heart and life. There were no words left to say after this though, for truly men are not God or gods, and the two would just have to leave it mostly, they knew to the Holy Ghost from here on out. And Johnnie wrapped his nice, strong and comforting and loving fatherly arms around Fabio and just closed his eyes as his heart and soul and that of the other Father smiled with peace. And Johnnie was glad, very glad that at least one person who had not gotten what God wanted for him in life, despite the mistakes of human beings and their wrong choices, the word of the Lord Johnnie knew had been spoken over him for a different destiny originally. Fabio had finally gotten what he needed, and would now be able to let the disobedience of others in his past go, and move on away from them and all of their unjustified lies and excuses for their foolish decisions and rash mistakes, despite their selfish and evil hearts, and without them, and get on with his own life and at last know peace.